Friday, November 4, 2016


I am feeling anxious, so anxious that I am close to tears. I have to think of why I am feeling like this.  usually I know, but right now I am unsure.

are you ever upset about something but cant remember why. isn't that weird  your body emotionally remembers a feeling you at having, but does not remember it intellectually, and you have to think about it or awhile and then it comes to you and there you have it. "oh, yeah. that's right . that's why I am upset."

well,  I just remembered todays source of anxiety. its work. that is usually my anxiety. and today was actually a good day. isn't that ironic?

it was some of my staff. to be continued.

Wednesday, November 2, 2016


My heart aches for that character. He was one of my three favs.

I Love the walking dead

I love the walking dead. I hate zombies.  That's a contradiction, right?
I did not want to watch this show. I was dragged kicking and screaming, so to speak, by my daughter, to watch this show.

"Oh Mommy, this show is really good."
Oh, mommy, you will really like it."

"Oh baby, leave me the fuck alone."
Ok, so I didn't make that last statement.
I do curse, but not in that manner.

So one day, while she was watching, I joined her.

It was at the time when the governor had lost his first battle with Rick, etal.
I found the actor who played the governor attractive. Not only physically, but I also found his
Character  appealing.  I was unaware of how he was prior to that.  I didn't know cruel and crazy he was, at that point. So I got involved.  Oh, boy did I ever. I am now so crazy about the show, I really miss it during the six-month or so hiatus.  I watch fear the walking dead during that time, but I'm not that invested in the characters yet, so it doesn't really fill the void.

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

I'm back, again

It's been three years since I posted. I always think of posting at this time of year bc there is that contest or challenge November of every yr to post the entire month. Well I haven't signed up for the challenge, but I do feel like posting.

The elections are a week away and I am not crazy about either candidate. I guess I dislike hillary more than I dislike trump, but I am unsure if I even want to vote for him.

He seems childish to me. She seems sleazy to me. What's a mother to do? (Sigh)

Eight years ago I was walking around with Hilary's pin, so happy that a woman was in the running.
Now that there have been so many issues surrounding her, my opinion has taken a 180 degree turn.

I was more strongly supporting trump prior to the debates. I saw the entire first debate, a small part of the second and none of the third. I thought trumps performance in the first was a disaster. I feel he was so unprofessional.  And who can believe a word out of her mouth. Did you know that she was thrown off of a watergate committee (Ala Nixon) for lying?

I had a very good friend who died awhile back. He admired trump, and read trumps book. However, I doubt very much if he would have voted for him, bc my friend was an ultra liberal.

I am basically a two issue person. Israel and lgbtq rights. So this is a quandary.  I feel trump is more supportive of Israel than Clinton. (I have a hard time calling hillary clinton bc that makes me think of her husband, but I shall try.).  But she is more supportive of lgbtq rights. Once again, what's a mother to do?

I will sign off now.  I need to catch some zzzzzzzs.  Good night.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013


i bit my nails when i was younger.

it was such a strong habit that even when my mom put some kind of polish that had a bad taste and thats purpose was to dissuade one from biting, well, uh, i still bit.  i contd to bite into adulthood, until i started having dental problems and could no longer bite things as hard as nails. so i started picking them.  both the nails and the skin around the nail.  sometimes i drew blood. i hate to admit it, but i really enjoyed picking both the nails and the skin. i would pick on the way home on the subway. and i couldnt stop.  i would sit there trying, but, without realizing it, i would find my nails on one hand picking and pulling the nails and skin on the other hand.  i have occasionally somehow managed to stop for short periods, only to start up again. i thought i would never stop again.

and then, somehow i did.

i have ten fingers. and therefore ten nails.  right now i have six long nails and four short ones. but i dont pick on any of them.  the short ones resulted when the long nails broke. three of those four are on my right hand, the one i use the most.

i even bought this kit with nail patterns that could be glued on your nails. none of them lasted more than two days, but they sure looked purty while they did.


Tuesday, November 5, 2013


i love elephants. i love dumbo.
i love that elephants are so big and yet, for the most part, dont hurt anyone.

Monday, November 4, 2013


I thought I had blogged about this in the past, but I cant seem to find the post.
we have good friends whom we met ten years ago at a Jewish event called a Shabbaton.
it takes place over the weekend, hence its title. Shabbat means Sabbath.

we were placed together at the same table because we fit.
I mean exactly what I said. we fit. there were ten seats at the table.
my family took up three, theirs took up seven.  I cant recall if that was the entire family at the time or if any of their sons wasn't there.  there were five of their children at the table and the parents.

they are the loveliest people and we lucked out by being seated with them.
we're not the best of friends, but I feel we're pretty close.  esp. considering the fact that we are at opposite ends of the religious spectrum.  they are extremely orthodox and we are extremely reformed.

anyway, since we've known them they have had at least three children, and one is due next week.
this will be their 11th child. 

I know its none of my business and I feel the more Jews in this world the better, since there are so few of us.  but 11!!!!!!  I mean, ELEVEN!!!!!! oy. I can barely handle one. 

life (motherhood?) has taken its toll on my friend.  when I met her she was so pretty and sweet looking.  she was 32 or 33 at the time. so now she's ten years older. still young though.  but the last time I saw her, she didn't look too well.  (actually, I just realized she must have been pregnant then because it was within the last six months. it was one of her sons bar mitzvah's. she didn't mention she was with child then.  but Jews are superstitious about not telling too many people, thinking it might jinx things.  I hardly told anyone until after my fifth month and only because I was showing.)

so right now, the ten kids are eight boys and two girls.  just like a religious family (of any religion) to manage to have the boy to girl ratio four to one.  why, oh why are females always subordinate to males. (and don't give me that line that the Jewish religion holds women up on a pedestal.  I believe that's just a way to rationalize subordinating them.)  all her boys were barmitzvahed.  but girls don't get barmitvahed in the orthodox interpretation of the Jewish religion.  they did recognize their oldest daughter by having a kind of bat mitzvah for her in the house recently.  (no, I wasn't invited.)  but that's not the same as the affair I went to for her son some months ago.

and why is it that every boy is reared just to learn about the religion. if I had eight boys, I would encourage one to be a doctor, one a lawyer, one an attorney, and so on.  finally, parenthood paying off.  I will elaborate on this another time.  for now, I must sign off.



Sunday, November 3, 2013


i don't cook.  i don't do most of the stereotypical woman's things.
i don't cook, i don't clean, i don't sew.
i don't like reading about cooking and cleaning and sewing.
i guess the only "female" thing i like to do is shop.
and even that i prefer doing on line.

however, about eight years ago, when we first moved into our current apt, we had company.

friends. as a matter of fact, the friend who matched my husband and me up.
and his wife.
and i made salmon. i obtained the recipe from the web.  i cooked it with ketchup an water and two other ingredients, that i don't recall. and i don't recall what the side dish was. but it came out GREAT!!!!!
this friend, he still talks about that meal to this day.

oh, and i do turkey well. unlike others, i think making a turkey is pretty easy.
ya don't even need to baste it before you cook it. you can baste it while you're cooking it.
about every twenty minutes, i pour the juices around it onto the turkey, after making cuts in the turkey so that the liquid goes into.  i cook it with any liquid i have in the fridge, usually some juice, or i might put olive oil on it. and i cook carrots and sweet potatoes around the turkey.

and the last food i do well. salad. i love to make a salad. i put the regulars: lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber.  but then there's pasta and artichokes and gee i cant recall what else right now.