Wednesday, November 16, 2011


thats right. i have (had) two.  my biological dad. and my stepdad.  my bio dad had a lot of problems, hence the divorce when i was six years old.  four years later my mother married my stepdad.  both dads were very different. 
bio dad was jewish, three years older than my mom, quick to  anger, strong believer in god, died before sixty, born in the US. 
stepdad was italian catholic, 12 years older than my mom, easygoing, an atheist, still going strong in his eighties, born in Italy.  gee, i didnt realize all the differences between them.

of course they had two very important things in common: me and my mother. 
my bio day met mom in school.  i think they knew each other a long time before they started dating.. then again, neither is here to corroborate that.  my mother was very unhappy with her mother.  i dont think her mom, my grandma, liked my mother too much.  they had a poor relationship till my gma was ill, at the end of her life, suffering with lung cancer.  my mom took great care of my gma.  and she managed to get everything my gma needed. and my gma appreciated that.  im unsure why gma disliked mom.  its true my mom was selfish.  but thats something i would think a mom would tolerate. dont we want for our kids whatever they want.  anyway, i went through my childhood constantly defending my mom to my gma.  i think this was not a good thing for a young child.  whatever the problems between my mom and gma were their problems.  im sorry i made them my own.  it interfered with my relationship with my gma, who adored me.

my stepdad and mom met, i think in 1962,  at least thats the year that makes sense, from what i remember.   i recall my mom saying that they dated for four years before marrying in 1966.  and mom and bio dad divorced in 1962.  cant help but wonder if there was any overlap.  hmmmmm.  my stepdad was actually separated from his first wife, when he met my mom.  i think they had been separated for many years at that point.  and neither found any reason to finalize it with divorce, till stepdad (i actually call him dad.) met mom. 

i know i need to tell much more of this story, but i would like to go to sleep now.  so till tomorrow,
Mother is comtemplative.

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