i am not a stupid person. actually, im a very intelligent person. but i come across as less than intelligent. i believe people misinterpret insecurity for stupidity. it is true that i dont learn quickly. i suffer too much from stress and anxiety. i dont want to force my mind to work any harder.
so i have this at work. my subordinates (i am a supervisor) think im less than intelligent. i can see how they have that perspective. i am not one to pretend i know something when i dont. plus, i have recently been transferred to this new dept. i have been trained. but i dont practice what i learned, because it is actually not my job to do it everyday. it is my subordinates. but they do sometimes ask me questions about what they do. and i often dont know the answers.
when i was younger, i was fat. but seen as intelligent. then, when in my thirties i lost weight and managed to keep it off for awhile, so i was seen as goodlooking and intelligent. i soon had knee surgery and couldnt walk as much as when i lost weight, and i gained weight back. now i am very big, and now im thought of as not goodlooking. so im considered neither goodlooking nor intelligent.
just not good.