PLANS THAT GO AWRY

i am upset. we made plans for my daughter to go ice skating with two of her friends. it is due to snow in my neighborhood today (and snow heavily) , but my husband was going to pick up the girls and drive them home. initially both girls (and their parents) said ok. actually, this was initiated by girl A. who then said she had no way to get to the ice skating rink. girl A had called my daughter (all girls are 13 yo) yesterday and said lets go ice skating. then said she had no way to go.

now let me explain. my husband often drives and picks up these girls for whatever reason (he is very generous that way.) and neither of us minds. (and if someone ever minds, it is i, and not he.) however, girl A has a history of asking my daughter if she wants to go out, and then canceling at the last minute. so when girl A asked to go out with my daughter, and then said she had no way of getting there, i was upset, thinking it was nervy of her to do so, expecting us to bring her there. i expressed my anger to my daughter. i didnt say we wouldnt take her, but my daughter interpreted my reaction that way. so dd told friend A that. today friend A said she couldnt go because her mother couldnt take her. at that point i said to my dd, i thought daddy was taking friend A, and the miscommunication was revealed. i then told dd to tell friend A that we would pick her up. this was all of 2 minutes later. and then friend A texts that her mom wont let her go because of the snow. so, it appears to me that her mom didnt want her to go at all (because of the snow), but initially used the excuse that she couldnt take her. i really dislike dishonesty.

so then theres girl B, who is my daughters best friend. girl B's family has been very, very generous to our family. we can never, ever repay, in any way, their generousity. for the last five or six years, whenever dd had vacation from school (and this was often, and i guess i should mention that the three girls all go to the same school and are in the same class.) girl B's family watched dd, and dh and i were able to work. this was a huge gift because till recently dd could not stay alone. i dont know what dh and i would have done. one of us would have had to stay home with her. we do get leave time at work, but not enough for all the time dd had away from school. the family not only watched dd, but gave her breakfast, lunch and snack. like i said, i could never ever repay them.

anyway, dd and friend A invited friend B. and friend B said yes. now, dh was going to drop the girls off at the rink. friend B's father is rather protective, which is fine, i think we each know our children, and we each have different priorities when it comes to rearing them, and i try not to stand in judgment (and prob accomplish that more often than most.) so when i head that friend B was going, i wanted to make sure he was aware that the girls would be there, at the rink, without parental supervision. so i called friend B's mom. she said it was fine. then friend A did her canceling. then friend B did her canceling. now, i believe i explained about friend A above. since i had spoken with friend B's mother earlier, i called her. but she quickly put on her husband. he said it was gonna snow. i said, but we knew it was gonna snow when i spoke with his wife. he said he hadnt realized it, and didnt want his daughter out in the snow. i pointed out that dh was going to take and bring his dd, so she wouldnt be in the snow. he still didnt want his daughter to go.it is about an hour since i began this post and it is snowing quite hard now, so we prob would not have gone after all. however, neither childs' parent knew when it was going to start snowing. so i am still (i think understandably) upset.

welcome to my world.